Saturday, November 9, 2013

Bracket Challenge - Master Photo Edition

Hello and welcome to another edition of Nachos Grande's Brackett Challenge!  I have made it to the Elite 8 and hope to get to the Final Four!!

Today I'm going up against the Junior Junkie!!  He's great, I doubt I will be able to beat him.  Especially since he wrote almost the same thing for this round as I was going to!!  Go take a look here, it is quite good.  I'll wait.  You back??  Good!

Like I said, he wrote the same basic thing I was planning, I guess great minds think alike.  So I had to fall back on my backup plan.  Here it is!!

As you probably know, here is the card I was assigned to write about:

It's a beauty ain't it?  Immediately, I thought of two things.  First, why is Sexy Rexy holding sooo tight to that pole, and second, where did his lips go?????  I set out to find the answer!!

My research led me to this GIF of Rex from his Color Analyst days.  It didn't help me understand the pole thing any better, so I moved on.


 
The best place to find anything out is in your own collection, so I dug in and found all of the Rex Hudler cards I could.

So what I found was a Stadium Club Master Photo.  Anyone remember those?  Below is a Mark McGwire Master Photo.  They took the photo from the card and gave you a little more around the outside, added a nice banner and walla! you have a Master Photo.  they are a little hard to store since they are so big, but they are a cool oddball, if you're into that kind of thing.

Anyway, I found the Master Photo for the Rex Hudler 'I love this pole' card.  Here it is:
Right off the bat, I noticed that there is some extra stuff around the edges.  Stuff that Topps must have cropped out.  The detective in me perked up!  This must be a clue to Hudler's strange behavior.

What could they be??  On the left, we have some skin and maybe plastic?  Could be an arm.  On the right, some sharp looking stick?  Definitely clues, but I'm not Sherlock Holmes enough to figure it out.

What to do???

Well I don't know what you would have done, but I called up my secret contact at Topps, code named Santa Clause, and explained my predicament.  He let me in on some super secret knowledge.  Not only did Topps Make these awesome Master Photos cards, but a very few super-special 'Master' Master Photos!!!!!!!

Just like the Master Photos gave a little more photo around the edge, the 'Master' Master Photos give even more!

He let me take a look at the 'Master' Master Photo for the Rex Hudler card, but he warned me that I might not like what I was about to see.  Since he warned me, I'll warn you.  If you are faint of heart, don't scroll down....



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....ok, here we go.... the 'Master' Master Photo looks like....



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Great Scott!!  No wonder Topps never released it!  Direct proof of the Roids scandal!  And it explains the Hudler card perfectly.  Why is he holding on to the pole for dear life??  Because McGwire is about to shoot him up!  Why does he appear to have no lips?  Because Canseco tore them off and put them on his hand so he would have somebody to talk to!

Well, I can't believe it, but there is the proof in indisputable photographic evidence.  If I didn't feel bad for Rex Hudler before, I certainly do now.

4 comments:

Nachos Grande said...

Best punch line of the round I'd say - but good God I don't think I'll be able to get that image out of my head any time soon.

The Junior Junkie said...

This is hilarious. Gonna be a close round!

Play at the Plate said...

Both of you guys did a stand up (comedian) job on this one! Congrats on a very nice effort.

The Junior Junkie said...

What's that on McGwire's lip?

What has been seen cannot be unseen.